TRUMP DOPES-UP IN PITTSBURGH

From the moment he stepped to the podium, we knew. This would not be a ringing endorsement for Rick Saccone, Republican candidate for Pennsylvania’s 18^th congressional district. 

Instead, this would be yet another gorging of dopamine, endorphins, and testosterone, for a man who cannot function without his fix -- a fix that requires an ever increasing dose of his drugs of choice.

It began last night with the screaming cheers from an adoring crowd. It heightened with his self-back slapping for saving the Winter Olympics, single-handedly producing record job numbers, bringing back manufacturing, especially steel and aluminum – so important to an audience yearning to regain yesterday’s economic and social status and yesterday’s reality.

But false boasting is never enough.

There must be a full buffet of delicious insults. The recipients included the usual suspects: The Fake News Media, Nancy Pelosi, Elizabeth Warren, Obama, Hillary, low IQ Maxine Waters, spiced up with light pokes at George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George H.W. Bush, and even Ronald Reagan. To fully claim his position on the pinnacle of his own Mt. Olympus, he will need to demote Reagan (“Sorry Ron, you’re demoted!”) before he deals with the fake stature of Lincoln.

This 75-minute ego-feast in Pittsburgh evened the score with all of the small minded, insignificant, jealous losers who dared challenge him.

Oh, wait a minute! One loser went unmentioned. Trump would have loved to utter the name of his almost invisible nemesis, Robert Mueller, for whom he has probably already come up with a disparaging nickname.

But for now, the lawyers hold him in check, depriving him of the joy of taking on the relentless prosecutor on Trump-adoring turf.

Finally, with his ego fed and bursting at the seams, it was at last time to make room for the local candidate. Rick Saccone stepped to the podium with a loud, scratchy, screaming voice, but with almost nothing to say.

And that was just fine for the headliner. Sharing a spotlight with anyone, friend or foe, could be kind of a buzz-kill.

Oh, and “Lamb the Sham?” Will that nickname for the Democratic challenger stick and seep into the brains of Trump Democrats, traditional Republicans, and independent voters who go to the polls on Tuesday?

Trump can sell that stuff in Trump World. Trump can sell almost anything in Trump World, but college educated women have turned their backs on the school yard bully with the fifth grade vocabulary.

And, Conor Lamb won’t take the bait.

And, my two minutes are up.