Ray Donovan is a fictional character. Please keep
that in mind. Ray drives a cool Mercedes, wears expensive suits, and has a
drawer full of Rolex watches. Maybe not every one of them is a Rolex. Maybe
some of them are more expensive than a Rolex. I have no idea. The point is that
Ray Donovan is just about the coolest tough guy you would ever meet.
Cool as he is, you would not want to meet him if
you were causing problems for one of his employers, like a big law firm or a
movie star or a rich professional athlete, etc. etc. etc. Ray gets hired by the
rich and famous to make problems go away. He will do what his employer can’t
do, which might mean a duffle bag full of cash, an envelope full of
compromising photos, or a very convincing threat of bodily harm.
Michael Cohen dubbed himself Donald Trump’s Ray
Donovan. Every kid should have a role model.
Presidential candidate, Donald Trump had a pesky little
problem with a porn star. His lawyer and fixer, Michael Cohen made the problem
go away. End of story!
Well, not quite!
The silenced porn star came strolling onto center
stage, arm-in-arm with the lawyer from Hell. And now, Michael “the fixer” Cohen
has an influence peddling problem, which happens to include – you won’t believe
this -- a Russia connection!
Now the ex-fixer, himself, has been silenced and will
likely remain silenced until he decides to sing like a canary to stay out of
prison. Michael Cohen – a fixer no more -- will need to find a new claim to
fame, not to mention a new fictional role model.
Fortunately, the president has found a new fixer.
Enter Rudy Giuliani!
Finally, the president has the defender he needs
and deserves – a former legendary prosecutor and associate of Robert Mueller, a
former legendary crime-busting mayor, and the hero whose strength and calm
under fire guided New York in the aftermath of 9/11.
And more importantly, a combative personality who could
go on television news shows with a big (and strange) smile, and slap down
biased interviewers, who are on a mission to trick Trump surrogates into
telling the truth.
Oh, and one more thing: a man who has perfected the
skill of answering any tough question by adding the line “Hilary did worse and
she didn’t go to jail.”
As you know, Rudy got off to a rather rocky start.
First he contradicted the president’s claim that he didn’t know about the $130,000
payoff to Stormy Daniels. Then he tried to explain why the contradiction wasn’t
really a contradiction. Then he explained that he was new on the job and wasn’t
quite up to speed on the facts.
It was important for us to know that the president
did nothing illegal and despite appearances, he was not trying to influence the
election, and Hilary did a lot worse and didn’t go to jail.
So, seeing the mounting confusion and increased
legal jeopardy, his employer had to step in and fix it, as only he could.
Here’s what the great communicator said:
“When
Rudy made the statements – Rudy’s great – but Rudy had just started and wasn’t
totally familiar with everything.”
“We
love Rudy, he’s a special guy. What he really understands is, this is a witch
hunt. He understands that probably better than anybody … but when he made
certain statements, he just started yesterday.”
And that pretty much explains it. Don’t you think?
Of course there is more. The Rudy Reality Show is
still going strong. But that is for another two minutes.
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